BECAUSE WE’VE GOT TO RISE UP

It’s been the longest time I ever imagined myself staying without updating my blog. In the silence allow me say it has been a rough four months full of falling, crying, rising, wonder, anger, bitterness, learning, and most important of all, growing in resilience. Despite it all, I’m back and much better placed to encourage, inspire,enlightened,… I believe. I should start posting a lot very soon (in a few days that is). For today I’ll just drop something from my library.

Disappointments happen at the least expected times. There are those that are within your control and those that are not. However, only you can understand the depth of the pain that comes with the disappointments as it only runs as deep as you let it.

The disappointments are like ditches on our paths; some visible, others not. Whichever the case, they are disappointments and many fall at the face of disappointments, many lose hope, faith, joy,… many lose a lot. But there is redemption from it all because there is always a chance to rise up: to rise up and hold yourself, rise up and be strong, rise up and do better, rise up and light up,…. A chance to just rise up. So dear one, rise up for there is so much that awaits you on your next step from the ground.

Rise up, be happy, joyful, and move forward 🙂

I AM A PAGE-LESS BOOK

I am a page-less book

I am a page-less book not because I never had pages and not because I never had a story but because I knew not how to handle my past mistakes, failures, shame, and pain

Mistakes I made on me and mistakes done on me

Because I knew not how to handle pain

And pain wasn’t going to be part of my story anyway because pain is ugly

I mean, I am beautiful can’t you see?

And I deserve a beautiful story, don’t I?

A story without flaws, pain, or shame but merry, jerry, and jolly

I mean, a package that looks like me; Miss perfect

So I kept tearing page after page because I thought it the best way to handle whatever made my story ugly and dirty

I kept tearing page after page to get it away from the trails of my history

I kept tearing page after page as I envisioned a how clean my story will be

And today as I stand here,

I stand without a story to tell, without a thing to inspire and without a page to write my story on because I never was perfect

What I knew not is that the mistakes, failures, shame, and pain would have done a better job staying in my book

Encouraging those in their lows that a high is sure

Encouraging those in the dark that a light is near

Letting those that fall know that they need to rise, dust-off, and walk forth

Showing my scars as proof that I overcame

Overcame the torture, the fears, the mistreatment, the hurt, shame, pain…

Had I let the pages in my book, now I think I would have the most beautiful book written but instead I am a page-less book

I have a scar-less skin due to the plastic surgery I did from time to time

That as I look at the mirror, I cannot recognize who I see, neither can I trace who I was

I have a starless story because there is no struggle I can show I overcame in my quest to show what a flawless road I traveled

I have an emotionless path because there is no pain to talk of and my happiness was fabricated

As I stand here I am less the person I out to have been

I am an ugly page-less book

But still like Maya Angelou I rise

I cannot write my story but I can speak it

I can steer a generation that writes its story

A generation that takes pride in the stories of their lives

Because they are stories of victors not victims

Because they are stories too beautiful not to be read and heard

Because they are stories too unique to be ignored

Because they are none other’s but their own stories; master pieces

So keep those pages intact because each is PRECIOUS and each is PRICELESS

And each is connected to three others that are empty enough to rectify the mistakes on

Empty enough to rewrite your future.

Keep those pages intact.

I DON’T MIND THE FIRE

It’s been a while right? I sure know. Soooo, I had written a certain article by the title “A page-less book” and it was one of those I would tell you was a master piece at least to me. I was so looking forward to posting it until it hit me that the notebook I’d written it in was no more. I think I lost it and it still hurts. It took me quite some time to get over it but I remembered one of Amani’s quotations; for those who’ve read “Kidagaa Kimemuozea”. When he finds out that the book he was told could not be published had actually been published and that someone else was benefiting from his hard work, he says, “The pen of a writer never ceases to write.” Of course I’ve paraphrased it because the book is in Swahili. So I had to snap out of it and keep writing because in as much as I can still write about a pageless book, I don’t like the fact that it will not be as the original was. I am still hopeful I’ll miraculously get the notebook though. Otherwise today I share one of those articles I wrote sometime back but was never published. And I also remind you not to remain stagnant simply because one thing has gone wrong. There’s is life ahead. Keep moving. You still have what it takes to be in motion.

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Done with the complaints, done with the tears

I’m learning to rejoice in the fire

Learning to trust upon His word

Braving me with the truth that the fire is not meant to burn me

I am in refining, walking bravely in the pain

My joy is seeing the chaff burn to ashes,

Listening to the sound of crackling wood and I don’t mind more being added

Till He can see Him when He looks at me

I mean aren’t I His image?

Then why can’t they see Him when they look at me?

Aroused by His love and will for me

I ain’t turning back, not for a soul

I am in refining, walking bravely in the pain

My joy is seeing the chaff burn to ashes,

Listening to the sound of crackling wood and I don’t mind more being added

Till He can see Him when He looks at me

I want Him to breath in the wood

I want to be consumed by His fire

I want to be set ablaze in Him

I am giving all of me, not to withhold a strand of hair

I am in refining, walking bravely in the pain

My joy is seeing the chaff burn to ashes,

Listening to the sound of crackling wood and I don’t mind more being added

Till He can see Him when He looks at me

BREAK FREE SOLDIER

It’s taken me a month now to decide whether to share this or not but I’ve also had to admit that when the time to act comes about, there are only two options; change and status quo. When status quo ain’t in your vocabulary, then your two options are change and change and your only choice is to act.

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Well, every man and woman gets to a breaking point sometime

If not sooner, then later

Sounds cliché, right?

But I’m tired nevertheless

I’m tired of sitting, hearing and doing nothing

I am tired of reading, knowing and doing nothing

I am tired of my “innocence”

I am tired of just being aware

Everyone is

And when I say I’m tired, then I AM TIRED

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I am tired of talking to suspects when there are so many criminals and victims out here

I want to know them, I want them to hear me speak

I am tired of preaching the informative that is not transformative

I am tired of sitting down coiled, thanking God that I am not affected when I really am

I want to know that slut and I want to meet that pervert

It is time I spoke to the sick

I want to meet the corrupt and those who drink themselves silly

They too can be redeemed

And though I’ve always been scared of all these,

Though I’m still scared by all these,

I am tired

And when I say I’m tired, I AM TIRED

I am tired of ignorance

And I am tired of my selfish silence

I am tired of negligence

And I am tired of conscious sequester of what should be in an all-inclusive basket

And I want to break out from this shell

And step out like the warrior I’m meant to be

Otherwise what’s the armour I’m having on for if not to battle what’s outside this shell covering me?

Well, if I’m to continue having on a whole armour and still hide behind a shell then of what use is it?

You know what? I am also tired of laying to waste the resources I have and when I’m tired, I am simply TIRED

And so I break free from this cocoon and march out like a soldier ready to take on the enemy for the good of my land

And though fear creaps in, goary faces and shadows show,

I shall press on with the assurance that the one within is greater

Because I’m tired

Tired of staying safe in my comfort zone when there is a storm to walk through and a roaring sea to calm

Knowing there is an enemy to silence and a soul to win

And just like the shepherd boy David, in the name of the Lord, I march on to slay Goliath because my people have been insulted enough

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It is time to bring down the giant

Break free soldier, break out of your cocoon

NOTES BEHIND “I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN”

“If any man cometh unto me, and hateth not his own father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple,” is a verse that I pick from Luke 14:26 and choose to start this blog with as I express on what the blog ” I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN” is founded.

I must admit I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN is one of those blogs I almost never posted as I thought it painted me as one who is claiming to be holier than thou, or it was setting standards too high for us as Christians and painting everyone who does not meet the “few standards” I mentioned in the post to highlight the many there are as not Christians. Despite all that I went ahead because nothing should keep us from sharing out what is truth.

The blog post I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN is one that I would rather term as a wake up call to us who are Christians. A post that is meant to get us out of our comfort zones and get us to do the will of our Father in heaven.

Many of us tend to think that once we confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, give a confession, and/or get baptized not forgetting the sinner’s prayer we are born again and going to heaven in a plane expressly. Well, while this might be the case, it might also not be the case. While it might be all that is needed, there might be more that is needed as well.

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Allow me speak to us who are born again and are still in the world breathing in the air we’ve been privileged to breathe freely. We who have been privileged to fulfill the great commission, “Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all nations…Matthew 28:19”. There’s much more that is expected of us. It is not enough to be justified. There is more to salvation for us.

We need to be sanctified “Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy; for I am Jehovah your God. Leviticus 20:7” We need to be freed from sin because it is what salvation is about. We are being saved from the bondage of sin and it’s wages thereof.

We need to be redeemed. Dying to sin and being alive in Christ. No longer slaves to sin because sin no more has power over us (Romans 6:2). We need to live as people who have been bought with a price. It is Christ who paid the price to redeem us from slavery by sin and we ought to live as the redeemed of the Lord glorifying Him in our bodies. (Note that our bodies are just but what we are packaged in.)

To live as Christians there is a cost. We need to calculate the cost and live to meet up the cost. There is a cross to carry but it is not enough to carry the cross; you need to follow Christ with the cross. That is being a Christian, a follower of Christ (Luke 14:27).

The cost might seem so much and that is why there is grace and mercy to take us through. Mercy is where God out of compassion comes through for us when we cannot. It is when God grants us forgiveness when we sin. Grace is when out of His goodness He showers us with good things not because we deserve them but because of who He is. His graced helps us in time of need.

We are not justified by our works (Romans 3:28) because as it is, we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). We are justified by the blood of the lamb (Romans 5:9). But after justification it is expected of us to live as free people. Just to use an example from Apostle Vincent Dennis under whose teachings I learn, “When a prisoner is freed, say a thief, it is upon him or her to work out his freedom to ensure he or she does not go back to prison for theft. He has to live free from what he or she had been convicted of because his release is a sign that he has already paid his price. To stay free he has to stop stealing.”

The same applies to us as Christians, when we are freed from sin, we need to work out our salvation in fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). We are not free from sin until we can live as ones free from sin. we are not free from anger until we can handle who and what makes us angry in such a way that we do not sin. We are not free from pornography until we do not watch it anymore and have no trouble keeping away. We are not free from cowardice until we can face our fears. And we work to attain all these by feeding what we want to build and starving what we want to destroy as Joel Osteen says.

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After building the foundation, we need to know that there’s a wall to be raised and a roof to be put above it if we are to have a house. So up to here you can ask yourself what wall you are raising on your foundation (Christ). You can also answer if you’ve been following Christ with your cross or if you took the cross and stood still.

With this I hope you can have a seat with yourself and calculate what the cost of being a Christian is and decide if you are ready to keep up with the walk. This way we can have trans-formative Christians.

Do not forsake what is transforming at the expense of what is informing. Apostle Dennis.

I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN

I am not a Christian, yes I am not a Christian!

I am not a Christian because I do not represent Christ

I am not a Christian because I cannot bring myself to be courageous enough to stand up for the helpless in the society

I am not a Christian because I cannot scream out the message of repentance when souls are being deceived with mbegu ya 310

I am not a Christian because I can’t help but exalt myself when I know sure well the glory belongs to God

I am not a Christian because I get into the water a dry sinner and come out a wet one and still move on to cause a rippling effect of the same

I am not a Christian because I cannot even understand when the Spirit of God is leading me into the wilderness and when the devil is deceiving me

And I am not a Christian because I am ready to obey the devil as his deal sounds so perfect even if in the short term at the expense of my soul’s eternity

I am not a Christian because I cannot bring healing to my land, didn’t Jesus leave His followers charging them to do greater things than He?

I am not a Christian because I am okay if politicians and the clergy are corrupt in every aspect morals not excluded because I can’t take the risk like Nathan, Amos,or Jesus. it is too risky for me and I’ll look crude to all and sundry

I am not a Christian because I know of a helpless being being molested in the church chambers and I can’t help but tie my tongue and pity them

I am not a Christian because I can’t even teach God’s word in it’s truthfulness and all I can do is preach half truths for my gain

I am not a Christian because until now I hide my light

Oh no! There’s no light to hide, it already went off

I am not a Christian because instead of fighting the sin that easily entangles me, I try so hard to justify it

I am not a Christian because I am full of vengeance, I mean, why would I let it go?

I am not a Christian because I got a PhD in hating and love for me is a conditional ordeal

I am not a Christian because “I am only human and to err is man”

I am not a Christian because yesterday I gave a donation so you could see and praise me

I am not a Christian because I have not just heard the word of God, I know I need to do it but doing the contrary is my stance

I am not a Christian because it’s been forever since the word patience made sense to me

I am not a Christian because I also forgot it was my duty to feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty

I am not a Christian because I am not ready to do something as easy as letting go and following Christ

I am not a Christian so would you please stop accusing Christians!

Would you stop throwing the Christian stones for faults that are not theirs?

If those calling themselves Christians are not acting as Christians then why call them Christians?

Is it not written that you shall know them by their fruit?

If a Christian can’t love, spread joy, be peaceful, have self control etc, then it is so simple, he/she ain’t no Christian

The christian I know heals the broken and wounded

The christian I know stands for and speaks truth

The Christian I know is a pillar to the society

The Christian I know fights for justice and administers justice

The Christian I know does not cause tears if not of joy or repentance

The Christian I know has a repentant heart and a soul after God’s heart

I can only be a Christian if I am following Christ not claiming to follow Him

so please don’t call me a Christian when I am not

You just might be sued for defamation.